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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when you stumble upon a one-armed Polish man stuck in a tree? You wave!"

"What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain."

"""I love you unconditionally*."" -God *Terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details."

"My girlfriend and I broke up over astrology. She's a Taurus, but I don't believe in bullshit."

"What does a lawyer wear to work? A lawsuit!"

"You think your spouse loves you?Put them & a dog in the trunk of the car for a day. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?"

"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was. Then it dawned on me."

"Putting a light in the refrigerator is God's way of telling us that it's okay to eat before going to bed."

"Why did the spotted pigs run away? They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine."

"The annoying moment when I get comfy in bed and realize I forgot to do something."