60632

Joke of the Day

"When I tell jokes my friends call me a faggot but I suppose it's just because they think i'm a bundle of shticks."

"A cauliflower is a plant explosion in extremely slow motion."

"I ate a big cheeseburger for lunch and my heart started going really fast, so I'm counting it as an hour at the gym."

"What do you call the facility where they make lower quality, but still acceptable, goods? The satisfactory."

"2 Muslims walk into a bar. The bar explodes."

"What did the french bloomers say to the sexy thong? Well I've 'ad me ups n downs, but I've never been pushed to one side..."

"Customer: ""Hi I'm supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?"""

"Sat down to donate blood the other day Nurse: Just a little prick. Me: How'd you know?"

"I fucked this girl for an hour and 45 seconds last night. Thanks daylight savings."

"In principle, I can stop drinking, the thing is I don't have such a principle."