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Joke of the Day
"So...the past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense."
Next Joke
"What do ISIS and anime fans have in common? They both get hot and bothered over cartoons."
"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It may take me a while to get hardI just got laid last night."
"What if animals were injured in the making of a film. would it say ''Tim hurt one monkey... he feels bad."""
"Most long freeway drives are spent thinking, ""Who the hell would live here?"""
"A Bug's Mind What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when he crashes into a windshield? His asshole."
"I like my woman like i like my coffee... Hot, wet, and all over my crotch"
"If I had a dog, I'd name it Syndrome. I'd teach it to jump up on people just so I could shout ""Down, Syndrome!"""
"Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' police time :("
"""Kids, grandma just had hip surgery so I need to warn you, she's not herself."" *grandma struts in wearing skinny jeans and smoking an E-cig*"