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Joke of the Day

"A baby is a horrible paper weight because it just keeps rolling off the desk."

"What's yellow and covers assholes? The Lakers uniform."

"Mother: Fred why did you put a slug in your grandma's bed? Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake."

"Why do babies cry when they're born? Because it's the most painful day in their lives"

"Being an adult is mainly drinking coffee and pretending to be productive."

"I drink every time I tell a bad joke. Hey, it's worth a shot."

"I found the best comment about what's been happening to reddit [DELETED]"

"If you ever feel useless... .. Remember that there is a comment section on porn sites."

"I'm using Internet Explorer to post this, so it might be a bit delayed... But there's a plane heading towards the twin towers right now."

"Thanks for keeping your Instagram account private. I'd hate for those pictures of your lunch to fall into the wrong hands."