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Joke of the Day

"I'm okay with Rob Ford illegally using the HOV lanes... He technically counts as three people, doesn't he?"

"Its so hard to know where you're at when your boss is a powerlifter.... They just keep raising and lowering the bar"

"Why did all the black people die in the war? Because when they captain said, ""GET DOWN!"" They all started dancing.."

"What's the speed limit of sex? 68... any faster and you'll eat it."

"Who served as the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"

"My local grocery store has a special deal going on at the self scan aisle, buy one get like 30 free."

"Saw a group of ants carrying a Funyun and it made me wish my friends and I had a giant Funyun."

"We all know by now that when someone says, ""I'm sorry, I never got that text,"" they ABSOLUTELY got that text, right?"

"COP: Do you know why I pulled you over. BLANKET: You were cold?"

"Whats a Feminist's favorite math subject? Triggerednometry"