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Joke of the Day

"Good punctuation is the difference between... Helping your friend, jack, off a horse, -or- helping your friend jack off a horse..."

"Facebook should change its name to Acquaintance Birthday Reminder"

"How do you shut an Italian up? Tie his hands behind his back"

"Did you know that Erwin Schrodinger's funeral was closed casket? He was buried (|Dead> + |Alive>) / sqrt(2)"

"If the number 666 is considered evil... ...is the number 999 is considered LIVE?"

"Q: How many buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three - one to change it, one to not-change it and one to both change-and not-change it."

"Did you know there are only 24 letters in the NHS alphabet? There's no A&E."

"Most days I wish I were an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once."

"People without profile photos, put your photo up 'cause there's no way you're as fat as we're all imagining."

"If a tree falls in the forest and kills a mime... ...would anybody care?"