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Joke of the Day

"Why did u shoot ur wife ? Judge:why did u shoot ur wife instead of shootingher lover? Methew:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week."

"Every time I post,, I get a rush like I'm releasing a little animal into the wild... A hideous, deformed animal that no one will ever love..."

"My girl's father said ""YOU TOOK MY DAUGHTER'S VIRGINITY""! I replied, ""Sorry. Won't happen again!"""

"I asked my dad if I could go to a 50 cent concert... ... He tossed me a dollar and said ""take your brother"""

"Why isn't there a Jared's for boys? Oh wait, there is."

"Literally nothing has had less of an impact towards changing my life than that inspirational quote you posted on social media."

"There are three kinds of people in this world Those that can count and those that cannot"

"What kind of key opens a casket? A skeleton key."

"What do you call a werewolf who has taken an interest in social justice? Awarewolf"

"Library joke Why are librarians so lonely? They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold"