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Joke of the Day

"You know, gas prices really aren't that bad when you consider that you're essentially buying dinosaurs in liquid form."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer, I don't know what they're laced with but I've been tripping all day..."

"A day without sunshine is like, well, night."

"Fun Fact: Jared Fogle was a Mormon I heard he graduated top of his class at Bring Em Young University"

"""Oh, just a scotch."" The bartender says, ""what can I get for you?"" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"I stopped using Hotmail, it's not for me. I'd rather have an average mail with a pleasant sense of humor and a fulfilling career."

"What do you call a deer with flashlights for eyes? A bright eye deer."

"I hit the gym today... But I drove away because I don't have car insurance."

"This girl told me she could sing like a harp But she turned out to be a lyre."

"Did you hear about the two podiatrists who opened their offices on the same street? They were arch enemies."