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Joke of the Day

"If I was a plastic surgeon I'd probably spend my free time putting tiny breast implants in my toes."

"""I'm calling you because you're easy."" ""You're not even very good."" ""You're just the best I can do this late."" Dominos: ""Your order, Sir?"""

"I like my women like I like my scotch Aged thirteen years in an oak barrel."

"Americans are getting stronger Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it."

"What are pigskins used for? Holding the pig together."

"Wife and I made a deal. She gets to keep hair on her legs, and I get to keep my opinions to myself. Baby steps."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic... ...and so am I."

"What's a mouse's favourite record ? Please cheese me !"

"Had a rabbit that would come by every morning. I'd leave a bit of food for him. But he stopped coming one day. Now he's just some bunny that I used to know."

"Cheating in a joke. A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""