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Joke of the Day

"If Spider Man eats too much fruit he squirts Silly String."

"I have found that a positive pregnancy test will cure hiccups."

"At jury duty they said, ""You do not have to be fluent in English."" So what you're supposed to do is just guess if the guy is innocent."

"Weekends are like an ORGASM: It takes a lot to get there and when you finally do, it's over in no time!"

"'Not Actual Game Footage' 'Translation' 'We put more effort into this advert than the actual game'"

"What did one hat say to the other hat? You wait here, I'm going to go on a head."

"What does Paul Atreides do when he wants the last glass of water? He calls Muad'Dibs on it"

"needs to stop keeping the cocaine next to the coffee creamer. I screwed up again. drinking a cup now and it has that weird milky taste."

"where does a queer download his illegal software from? pirategay"

"I figured out why there are so many masturbation-related injuries that's when all the guardian angels cover their eyes"