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Joke of the Day

"I feel really bad about being at this girl's house last night. I came in seconds. Besides that, what kind of shitty name is that for a cat?"

"A guy goes into a military surplus store... ..and asks the owner if he has any camouflage jackets. He says, ""I've got hundreds, but I can't find any of them!"""

"Did you hear? They found a new use for sheep in texas. Wool."

"Why are pirates, pirates ? CASUE THEY ARGHHHHHHH"

"What swims slightly faster than a shark? The Little Mermaid on her period."

"I don't like dictatorships. All dictators should be shot, and if anybody disagrees with me, they should be shot as well."

"What's the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes, the other decomposes..."

"So the Macarena turns out to be about a girl double-teaming her boyfriend's friends. Now we know the lyrics were crowd-sourced from Twitter."

"* feels winds of change * realizes it's just a hole in my shorts"

"I use to have crabs... Until the bigger bugs ate them."