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Joke of the Day

"Why can't the T-Rex clap it's hands? Because it's extinct."

"A family walks into a hotel... The father goes to the front desk and says ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The guy at the desk replies ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck!"""

"Is it too much to ask that my gay friends flamboyantly leap from closets when I visit their houses?"

"I love pressing buttons, so as you could imagine this makes it really difficult for me to be around nipples."

"When I think about it, Gaston really was a peaceable chap... It's a shame. He was a shoe in for the No-Belle prize."

"What do Alan Turing and a well-mixed solution have in common? They're both homo-genius."

"You know, Microsoft, if you had called it Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. Example: I just Banged Catherine Zeta Jones."

"I hope fashion in the future isn't all like, weird metal bird outfits. Cuz a bunch of mine just got stolen."

"They say dad's a transvestite. -Mommy, mommy! The kids in school say that dad's a transvestite! -Son, your mom's in the kitchen."

"When a guy texts ""your beautiful,"" reply with ""my beautiful what?"" then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again."