51671

Joke of the Day

"single because i didn't forward that chain mail in 2008"

"When you want them, they don't want you. When they want you, you don't want them. When you both want each other, something fucks it up."

"Stop screaming! I thought you'd appreciate having someone to pass you a towel when you got out of the shower"

"Did you hear that Sean Connery tried out speed-dating but he ended up making all his dates sick? He was told it was a shingles club."

"My wife says I act really immature and need to grow up I told her to get the hell out of my pillow fort with that negative attitude"

"There was this group on Facebook called Help the children in Africa who are suffering from the heat'. So I became a fan."

"Pregnancy is like a black ops mission They're both expensive to abort."

"I ll see myself out.. Did you know? You can buy a 2 pack of Eminem s for Fifty cent..... It s Ludacris"

"Therapist: We must remove our masks and express our true selves Yoga instructor: True Nutritionist: So wise Raccoon: This is bullshit, Alan"

"What if Adele was calling from inside the house?!"