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Joke of the Day

"I want a girlfriend with OCD, that way whenever I want to go home I can just say ""Are you sure you checked the stove before we left?"""

"What do you call a homeless horse with a Borderline Personality Disorder ? Unstable."

"""I got you this for Valentine's Day."" [she opens the box and reveals several People magazines inside] ""I think we should see other people."""

"The world is a dangerous place. Just the other day, I was walking down the street and I punched a guy in the face for absolutely no reason. Stay safe out there, folks."

"what did the pirate do after his parrot bit off his genitals? He got a woodpecker."

"Fantastic Four (2015) currently has a rating of 4.0 on IMDB"

"Stop making child molestation jokes It's a really touchy subject"

"What is a Pirate's FAVORITE letter? You'd think it'd be rrrrrrr, but it's the C!!"

"I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point. She turned around and found out I was walking her home."

"What do right-handed people hate most? [NSFW] Having to switch hands at the computer."