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Joke of the Day

"I heard Jared lost about 7 inches. .. But little Susie isn't sure."

"My band is called 999 megabytes. We don't have any gigs. lol"

"You know you're awesome when Facebook suggests people you have already had sex with."

"I once told a joke so corny... That it was sold at the farmers' market"

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? YOU WANNA GO RIDE BIKES??"

"I bet if Amy Winehouse had changed her name to Amy Lemonadehouse, she'd still be alive today."

"Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth? Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound."

"In Heaven all your lost pets are sitting around waiting to see you again. ""I wish he'd die,"" says Cupcake. They all nod."

"My skills Precision. Concentration. Patience. Fearlessness. Four skills I possess while shaving my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life."

"I made a false deity out of bubble wrap today I call Him Pop Idol"