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Joke of the Day

"Oh great! Now my phone is calling me a low life. Oh wait it's low battery life sorry that was my self esteem reading it wrong"

"Know the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Patrick's Day everyone wants to be Irish."

"why didn't the escaped peasant want to go to the beach? he was scared that he'd end up serfing again"

"What's the Riddler's favourite beverage? Obscuri-tea."

"(True story) So my friend saw me browsing this subreddit and he said... ""Is this a subreddit for really bad jokes?"""

"Back in my day, we didn't have iPads. If we wanted to act elitist, we stuck the collars of our Polos straight up."

"Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him ""go big or go home"", he only had one option."

"Who's driving the car? Theres a muslim a mexican and black guy in a car, whos driving?.. **The cops**"

"Me: Ok, who got Oreo filling on the couch? Husband: 4: 7: Me: Well... 7: It really could have been any of us. 4: (licks couch)"

"If an apple a day keeps the doctor away what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away."