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Joke of the Day

"Why do Mexican students act like they own the school? Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof"

"What do you call the total pay from your jobs as a garbageman, a sewage plant worker, and a drug smuggler? Your gross income."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea. I wouldn't pay $300 to let a lentil on my face."

"Why did Robert Oppenheimer's wife go to the beach naked? There was no bikini atoll"

"An atom walks to a bar He tells the bartender he lost an electron. The bartender says, ""Are you positive?"""

"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his whole family"

"My girlfriend stole my vintage adding machine That calculating bitch."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Without a penis."

"Don't care about baseball, but I love apple pie. Can I still be an American?"

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."