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Joke of the Day

"Why do Mexican students act like they own the school? Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof"

"Some lady brought a gaggle of pre-teens to the movie, sat them down next to us & then sat elsewhere. I sold them all on the black market."

"Why is heaven a paradise for the common man? Because all the politicians are in hell."

".@WebMD Should blood basically be cascading out of my nose when I look at the sun ?"

"What's the difference between a gun and a penis? One is used to kill brats, the other makes brats."

"My brother wanted me to watch his kid So I spent HOURS and HOURS childproofing my house. Wouldn't you know it? That fucker still got in."

"My favorite Lil Wayne song is the one where he sounds like a constipated muppet trying to list off active ingredients in Children's Tylenol."

"What is a chemist's favourite restaurant? Rubidium's."

"You look like my Asian friend from school. Yeah his name was Ug-lee!"

"If Apple has taught me anything, it's wait to see the ""Steve Jobs"" movie until they release a second version."