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Joke of the Day

"Actors can get political in speeches if they want. Go for it. But imagine someone winning Wimbledon & going, ""Yay! I won! Save the whales!"""

"How does a racist laugh? He sniggers."

"Where do dogs go when they lose their tail? The retail store."

"Did you hear they came out with a drink called the Osama Bin Laden? It's two shots and a splash of water."

"Why are pills white? because they work"

"Someone should tell North Korea that if you want to nuke someone, you probably shouldn't give them a progress report every week."

"If someone holds eye contact with you for longer than 3 seconds, make sure you urinate to establish dominance"

"Are you looking arround ?"

"I saw a homeless man holding a sign. It said, ""2 will change my life."" Unfortunately, I only had a 5 note in my pocket."

"Two dogs on a coffee break *Dogs on coffee break* Dog 1: Heard a great joke. Dog 2: Oh yeah? Dog 1: Knock kn- *Dog 2 goes fuckin' nuts*"