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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lazy lizard? A procrastigator."

"Who cares if you have regrets on your death bed. You're about to die. I have regret everyday and have like another 40 years of this garbage"

"What's Macho Man Randy Savage's favourite capital city? Skopje!!"

"What fish is the most valuable? A goldfish."

"Why did the Libertarian cross the road? Fuck you, none of your business. Am I being detained?"

"Wanna hear an Ebola joke? You probably won't get it."

"Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if you flip it over? That makes it cap sized"

"The versatile gay actor wanted to be cast in both ""A Christmas Carol"" and ""A Midsummer Nights Dream"" So he could be both a Bottom and a Topper."

"Asked the burd in Krispy kremes for 5 Nutella donuts and she says ""have you got any nut allergies"" aye pal I'm planning suicide by donut"

"I went to an HIV counseling meeting... ... They are a very positive group."