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Joke of the Day
"I tried that whole ""if you love something, set it free"" thing but my kids are still here."
Next Joke
"A pilot, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar... I know because they told everyone within a minute."
"Saw a picture of Justin Bieber on a horse. It looked as natural as sauerkraut on a bean bag chair."
"Knock Knock.... Whose there... Fuck you."
"Sometimes, I wake up grumpy... But usually I let him sleep."
"I haven't cleaned my car in so long that I still have paper maps in my glovebox"
"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno Business! (say with sass)"
"Management tip: 1) Slam phone down, 2) Grab briefcase, 3) Stomp out while mumbling about ""always having to fix things,"" 4) Sleep in car."
"What do you call a guy dumped by his Asian girlfriend? Disoriented."
"I tried to sell a Native American some land.... ...but he told me he had his reservations."