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Joke of the Day

"My uncle was found dead in his office last night by cleaning staff. I'm glad because he wore Crocs to my wedding in 2006."

"Police - OPEN UP OR WE ARE COMING IN Me- SOUNDS GREAT CAN YOU GRAB MY CHARGER FROM MY CAR"

"A feminist went to the police department. She said she wanted to file a report because someone called her fat. ""It's ok, just leave your thumb print on this broadsheet"""

"Apparantly there is a term for Baywatch actors in their midlife crisis. It's called the Hoff-time show."

"How is Harry Potter and Kermit the Frog's penis similar? They have Hogwarts"

"Oh, you sent me an event invite on Facebook? We've never met and you live 2,400 miles away, of course I'll go!!"

"My fat friend, who always says I'm cheating when I roll so much as a 16, just rolled a perfect 20. Ugh, I fucking hate hippo-crits."

"I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger And then it hit me."

"What happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your truck back, you get your house back, you get your girl back, and you get your dog back."

"TIFU Your girl was on my lap"