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Joke of the Day
"I am quitting alcohol for a month. Sorry, that came out wrong I am quitting. Alcohol for a month."
Next Joke
"Enjoyed 3 minutes and 42 seconds of extra sleep this morning by letting my kids stay up 5 hours past their bedtime"
"Not that I hate you.. But I'll unplug your life support to charge my phone"
"Have you ever heard the one about the dust bunny and the mud pie? Well then sorry, I only tell clean jokes."
"I would rather that you'd just paid some of my bills, but thanks for this combination rubik's cube/pepper grinder."
"I FEEL SO ALIVE MCDONALD'S IS GIVING AWAY FREE COFFEE I PASSED 20 MCDONALD'S TODAY DO THE MATH TOO LATE I DID THE MATH SLEEP IS FOR MORTALS"
"Can someone please help me to spell misogynistic? A man preferably"
"A midget Mexican is called a paragraph. Because he aint no full essay ;)"
"What did the Hand say to the Penis when they first met.... Nice to beat you!"
"in movies when guy& girl lie side by side in bed & say ""that was amazing"" theyre talkin abt a Rush drum solo. thats wat happend be4 the cut"