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Joke of the Day

"My funeral instructions to my family were to have me cremated, and I told my best friends under no circumstances should I be cremated."

"Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries"

"Told my GF: ""We haven't had sex for almost a month."" She replied: ""Speak for yourself."""

"Where can you find a paraplegic man? Right where you left him."

"Say - didja hear about the LGBT who keeps telling bad Bruce Jenner jokes? (wait for it ... wait for it Yeah - every one thinks he's a real bruisance ..."

"Why do white girls only travel in packs of 3's? Because omg they can't even."

"I dont care about all the ISIS jokes They all blow up."

"""Dad, why is my picture on that milk carton?"" ""Well, son, I guess it's time that I tell you the truth. You were adopted... from a dairy."""

"My wife is an angel A man tells his friend, ""My wife is an angel."" His friend replies, ""Lucky you. Mine's still alive."""

"I was going to throw an earth day party But I forgot to planet."