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Joke of the Day

"I saw a car with ""Wash Me"" written on it, so I set it on fire. I'll be damned if I'm going to allow cars to become sentient!"

"if I get married all my bridesmaids are going to be bats"

"Say what you want about deaf people..."

"I gave up cursing for lent The next day I went over to confession and told my priest, ""I hope I don't fuck this shit up."""

"What does the sun drink out of? Sunglasses."

"Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning."

"How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder ""Instruction Manuals."""

"What's it called when a cannon ball eats another cannon ball? Cannonball-ism."

"Stereotypes are just like regular types, except every time someone almost kills me, while I'm driving, it's an Asian person."

"What do you call a dog with no hind legs and brass balls? Sparky"