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Joke of the Day

"What's a stoners favorite word? Here! (Must be said like you are holding a hit in)"

"What is a drug? A drug is a substance which when injected into a guinea pig produces a scientific paper."

"What do you call a colored man ? A Hueman"

"After working long and hard for my PhD people finally recognize me.. As the neighborhood pizza Hut delivery guy now."

"[fleeing the bank we just robbed] accomplice: play it cool this time, okay? me: GOD I HATE CRIME YOU GUYS police officer: alright he's clear"

"If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person."

"I have just endorsed Andy Murray on LinkedIn for tennis."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I was wearing the wrong socks."

"Today I've smoked 2 packs of cigs, eaten only deep-fried foods & took the seatbelts out of my truck. Free healthcare is going to be awesome."

"Losing my virginity was alot like performing a heart transplant operation. Someone had to die for it to happen."