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Joke of the Day

"Needed some help with romance, so I took the book ""How to Hug"" out of the library. Turns out it was volume 6 of an old encyclopedia."

"Facebook has a link to ""Report a Problem"" so I wrote ""I'm not very close with my father."" Now we wait I guess"

"Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen. In fact, you could say that there is still no e-quill."

"Me: How's it look? Doc: You have 2 months to live M: WHAT?? You're my dentist! D: Then you don't need to come back for a cleaning in 6 mos"

"If Hillary had a sex change, then we still wouldn't have a female president... except for North Carolina."

"Psi walks into a bar And says to the owner ""Such a nice unit you have here, totally on a different scale"""

"What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant? Long John silvers"

"How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away."

"Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing."

"I just found a new Batman shampoo... I was so disappointed when I found out they don't make conditioner Gordon."