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Joke of the Day

"Titties on a hook [NSFW] click bait"

"What does one lesbian pirate say to another lesbian pirate? Scissor me timbers."

"How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house? Paint a goal line on your driveway."

"No amount of minority filled commercials can ruin Red Lobster for me."

"Water-loo is such a shitty place. Just thinking about it would make me pissed, if I gave a crap."

"I found a substance that works like catnip, except only for Chinese bears I'd release it, but that would cause pandamoanium."

"Two guys walk in to a Bar First Guy orders an H2O. The Other Guy orders H2O too. The Other Guy dies."

"""I have no porpoise!"" -existential marine biologist."

"All the world is a stage, and the only seats I can afford are obstructed view."