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Joke of the Day

"when life gives you lemons, be thankful it didn't give you cancer"

"The only thing keeping me from cutting eye holes in a newspaper to spy on people in the coffee shop is my constant lack of scissors."

"What did the second guesser with no self esteem say to Reddit? edit: nevermind..."

"I can never remember if X is hug and O is kiss or if it's the other way around, so sorry if our tic-tac-toe game starts off a little weird."

"The most disappointing moment of my adult life was when I found out a vaporizer is an e-cigarette and not a death ray that vaporizes people."

"what do a divorce and a tornado have in common in west virginia? either way you lose the trailer"

"What do you call a Graveyard built on sandstone? A sedimentary."

"My local gadget store has a great deal on devices that measure electric charge, but it's too far to walk. It's a coulomb meter."

"Microwave broke and I had to cook on the stove like freaking Betty Rubble."

"I decided to live at the gym, it was free! Because of squatter's rights."