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Joke of the Day
"I like my women like I like my condoms. Wrapped around my dick and full of my semen."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend asked me the other day, ""Dave, why do you always walk in front of me?"" I said, ""I'm sorry, I don't follow you."""
"If you eat Skittles while drinking NyQuil, you can taste the rainbows on Pluto."
"Why doesn't the queen's farts smell? Because it's a noble gas."
"Anytime I'm watching something on tv my wife starts talking to me as if her words are going to expire if she doesn't use them."
"How can you tell if a person's a vegan? Don't worry, they'll tell you."
"""NO HOMO"" i scream at my dog Homo as he shits on the carpet"
"How do you make a Swiss Roll? Push him down a hill. BONUS: How do you make French Wine? Invade."
"Funny one liner if the purpose of technology is to make our lives easier, then i need a ""voice-based-auto-adjustable-underwear""."
"Damn boy, are you my yoga class? Because I want to get hot and sweaty with you in 37 different poses and then not be able to walk tomorrow."