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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it."

"Yes, Banner Ads, we want to check our Credit Scores. Almost as much as we want to pick people up at the airport and see our parents fucking."

"So nice of the Oscars to give this tribute to Selma then not nominate it for anything"

"I will literally punch you in the throat the next time you misuse the word ""literally""."

"Just thought of way to discourage teenage smoking. Instead of saying ""Cancer"" on boxes replace it with the word ""Acne""."

"What does anal sex and broccoli have in common? If you're forced to try it as a kid.. you probably wont like it as an adult."

"My girlfriend might be a gorilla... Everyone is always taking their dicks out for her."

"I am proud to annouce my discovery of Forrest Fenn's Treasure!!! It took SO long. Now I must follow the clues and locate the box."

"If your going to be two faced at least make one of them pretty."

"every good........ (offensive) every good rape story starts with a no..."