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Joke of the Day

"Newtown's First Law (OC) Newtown's First Law: For every crisis, there is an opportunistic power-grab by the government to trade freedom for 'security'."

"What doesn't kill you just makes you injured and really pissed off."

"What did the football fan say to the paedophile footballer? Come on my son."

"one time a girl asked for my number and i got so nervous that i accidentally gave her my social security number"

"(My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists? Simplifying Radicals. Yes, she's a math teacher."

"What is an apt gift for a female porn star that collects vintage comic books? An issue of *Giant Sized Man-Thing*"

"You know how to tell if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick taste like blood."

"Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in."

"So a centaur walks into a bar The bartender says, ""Hey, how's the sore throat?"" The centaur replies, ""My throat isn't horse but my legs are."""

"What do you call a mexican drowning in mayonise Sin-co-dye-mayo"