37447

Joke of the Day

"As a tall person... Study finds that shorter men will live longer but taller men have a higher shelf life."

"English teacher asks me, ""What's an example of pleonasm? ""Troublesome Woman"""

"""yo Adam, Eve, don't eat from that tree ok?"" ""Why God?"" ""CUZ I INSTALLED THIS SWEET BURGER KING BRO"" ""AW HELL YEAH"" *God & Adam chest bump*"

"I've got a fungal skin infection It was a little itchy at the start, but now it's really growing on me."

"In the meantime I plan on absolutely crushing it over on LinkedIn."

"Hippies. Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'."

"I hate East German Cars I mean, the Trabant was a load of old pants."

"[scale says I've gained 5 pounds] Me: It's probably just what I'm wearing. Wife: You're naked. Me: Wife: Me: It's a heavy deodorant."

"What do you call two lesbians in a canoe..... Fur Traders"

"Why did the toilet want to start a rebellion? Because he was a slave to the cistern!"