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Joke of the Day

"What do you call not wanting to reminisce? No-stalgia."

"I forgot Rhianna's ex-boyfriend's name...then it hit me."

"I was too late for the ribeye special at the supermarket. Such a big missed steak."

"What's a pornstars favorite drink? 7 up in cider"

"what's worse than messing up a puchline to a joke To get to the other side!!!"

"You got 30 minutes to text me back or I'm breaking into your house & responding to myself."

"I RT a bunch of awesome stuff. nnBecause its funny. And I needed to hide my tweets from last night."

"Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead? A: His heart stops bleeding."

"Dude you're like my fridge... Super cool. (Best used when a friend is bragging about themselves)"

"What Do You Call Adrian Peterson Playing Baseball? A switch hitter."