3620

Joke of the Day

"How to scare burglars off. First, put pictures on the wall of you with a tiger. Second, put a cat litter box in your hall and sh!t in it."

"I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here."

"It's fine when Santa does it, but when I see you when you're sleeping & know when you're awake it's ""creepy"" and ""sir, you're under arrest"""

"How do you get a blonde pregnant? Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest."

"I don't always tell dad jokes But when I do, he laughs."

"I appreciate and am so thankful for all law enforcement officers ...until I'm driving."

"Pro tip: No matter how much you hate wrapping, never ask your wife to wrap her own Christmas presents."

"What do you get when you combined a baseball player with a metal alloy? A steel"

"I like when websites ask ""HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT US?"" Haha paranoid much?"

"Knock knock Who's there? To To Who It's actually ""To Whom"""