35457

Joke of the Day

"Seriously joggers?! You're gonna run and carry on a conversation at the same time? And I'm all outta breath just finishing this McMuffin!!!"

"I often call my stepson a ""bitch"" and my stepdaughter a ""dickhead"" to show them the importance of gender equality."

"Years after presidency, the introverted former president Obama is asked if he has ever had an affair. He responds with ""I've never been one to cum outside of Michelle."""

"What do you call a dog that is underwater? A sub-woofer! Thank you, I'll be here all day."

"Why your mother had you Your mother did not get an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with you because she wanted you, but because the abortion cost more then keeping you alive."

"What did the drowning number theorist yell? LOG LOG LOG LOG"

"Why do lawyers like women with large tits and tight pussies? Because they have big mouths and little dicks."

"What do you call food between two slices of bread? a sandwich"

"An Irishman walks into a bar .... An Irishman walks into a bar full of Englishmen. Looks around, and then says: ""Right, this looks like a fair fight."""

"Whom hath released the hounds? Whom? Whom? Whom? Whom?"