35074

Joke of the Day

"Knock knock ... Who's there? Any. Any who? Come in, Canadian!"

"Misty's boss says to her: ""You've been late to work for 5 days straight! You know what this means, don't you?"" ..... ...to which Misty replied ""I SURE do! It means today must be FRIDAY!!!"""

"My neighbor just planed an orange tree. I told him, ""That's a strange color for a tree."""

"Who was Noah's wife? Joan of Ark"

"My wife said she wants to be treated like gold on her birthday. Apparently, locking her in the safe wasn't what she had in mind."

"What is a composer's favorite vegetable? Bach choy."

"What's the perfect name for a salon run by a couple of lesbian nuns? Scissor Sisters *ba-dum-tiss*"

"I got arrested for saying ""Hi!"" to my friend Jack The Air Marshall doesn't screw around"

"I believe in ""you're stupid"" at first sight."

"Why do blind people not skydive? Scares the living shit outa their dogs!"