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Joke of the Day
"Hey Europe you look a great. Have you lost a few pounds?"
Next Joke
"To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!"
"""I love you"" can be the most beautiful words you can hear from someone you truly care about, next to ""I got this round."""
"You'll get this gun when you pry it out of my cold dead ow hey give that back"
"What's the difference between Stephen Harper and Rob Ford? One likes pipelines, and the other likes pipes *and* lines."
"I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named Fireworks and vacuums so my dog won't find them."
"Thanks for the gold! I'm an optimistic guy."
"How do you call a dog with no legs ? You don't call it, you pick it up."
"My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that but it's also terrible."
"Don't forget to celebrate Columbus Day by moving in to someone else's house and telling everyone it's yours, then closing the post office."