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Joke of the Day

"I was tired of the fascist dictator who ran the Bird Imitators Society.. So I took control with a violent coup."

"Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it."

"What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common? They both love cracking open a cold one!"

"My friend's been dating Tim Howard She told me he's a keeper."

"If you say ""cray cray"" I'm going to punch you in the ""fay fay"","

"When I say ditto after someone tells me they love me, it doesn't mean I love them. It means I love me too."

"I've changed my name to Yasiin Bey. It is very important to me personally and culturally that I am called by only this name from now on and I ask respect for my decision... said Mos Def"

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear."

"Hey girl, are you a derivative? Because I'd like to examine the slope of your curves"

"A dad walks into his son's room while his son is masturbating. ""Son, don't do that, you'll go blind."" ""Hey dad, I'm over here""."