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Joke of the Day

"I was tired of the fascist dictator who ran the Bird Imitators Society.. So I took control with a violent coup."

"I wish I grew up during the Great Depression That way every Sunday was soup or bowl Sunday"

"How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun? Planet"

"why don't Italians like Jehovah's witnesses? Italians don't like ANY witnesses."

"I tried to get my Liberal Girlfriend to play Chess But she got really mad when I told her that Whites went before Blacks and the Queen has to die for the King."

"Sex is a lot like chess. It takes strategy, patience, there's a horse there, the queen is watching."

"How come I can get free wifi with a $3 cup of coffee but I can't get it with a $150 hotel room?"

"<a pigeon with a message lands on my arm> NEW ARM WHO DIS"

"Where do dinosaurs get their pickles from? Vlasic Park"

"Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty."