33225

Joke of the Day

"Does anyone else find it ironic when a celebrity with a face full of Botox talks about having the freedom of expression?"

"Her: You into S&M. Him: Sure. Her: Good. *ties him to bed post* Him: Oh yeah. Her: Ready...? Him: Torture me! Her: *plays Nickelback*"

"Pinot? I hardly noir."

"Why didn't the people in the movie Armageddon just hold up a big sheet of paper when the meteor was coming? Paper beats rock..."

"Nothing worse than wasting a good mood by being around family."

"How do you spell hypocrisy? R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N"

"[preppin for rap battle] *pops retainer out* dont wanna give him any ammunition *takes off suspenders* that should do it *rollerblades away*"

"I went through and unfollowed everyone who is better looking than me. It took a lot longer than I thought it would."

"My goal is to one day make it through an entire p orn movie."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber."