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Joke of the Day

"I know Jeb Bush will be President... because I bought a bag of Oreo cookies today."

"Decided to burn a lot of calories today so I'm thinking of setting a fat kid on fire."

"What's tall, handsome and muscular? Not you!"

"My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony. I was born ready."

"What's the leading cause of obesity in women? Wedding rings"

"How did the Chihuahua disappear on the road? It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!"

"Sorry I can't make it to lunch today. I forgot to shorten ""people"" to ppl in a text this morning and now I'm totally behind schedule."

"One good thing about being ugly is that when someone stares at you for too long you automatically know they wanna rob you."

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years. C'mon guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"What is the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire"