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Joke of the Day

"Hurricanes, famine, disease, war crimes, child molestation, political corruption. And Jesus appears to mankind on a slice of toast."

"""Daddy, may I trouble you to clean a shocking amount of poo off my genitalia?"" - if babies could talk"

"Nice try, operating instructions. Nice try. I've got this. *grabs a hammer*"

"I don't make the same mistake twice. I make it at least 5-6 times to be sure."

"Why did the gay choir boy die? He choked on his last hymn."

"How does an ethiopian open a beer? With his ribs"

"There are three rings in marriage The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."

"I do really well on Jeopardy. I get all the answers, every one of them, almost instantly. I do, however, have a lot of trouble coming up with the questions."

"how do you get a toddled car repaired you get another one for you toddled car get it?? re-paired"

"Instead of using ""for example"" I'll use things such as ""such as"", for example."