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Joke of the Day

"Hurricanes, famine, disease, war crimes, child molestation, political corruption. And Jesus appears to mankind on a slice of toast."

"In 1000 years, archaeologists will find tanning beds and think we fried people as punishments."

"Now I'm not saying I'm a good businessman But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become President."

"Did you hear about the most recent police shooting? I heard they killed a law-abiding, productive member of society."

"Did you hear about the train that hit the deaf guy? Neither did he."

"Two birds flying through the air... Flugen zwei Vogel durch die Luft. Sagt eine zum anderen, ""Vorsicht"" da kommt ein Hub-schrau-schrau-schrrau"

"I don't mean to sound like a tough guy but I've been in New York City for almost two hours and I've only cried like 31 times..."

"Muslims are so open minded when it comes to politics They believe in the separation of church and state !"

"What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree might kill you? A pool table."

"What's black on the bottom and white on the top? Society."