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Joke of the Day

"If Yo Yo Ma doesn't answer the phone by saying ""cello"" then I consider his entire life a failure."

"Why didn't Oscar Pistorius get a new bathroom door? Because his wife was dead-set against it..."

"I tried committing suicide today Not going to do that again almost killed myself"

"I told my girlfriend I wanted to try the orca in bed tonoght. I wanted to see how long I can last Tilikum."

"What do you call a group of thirsty Rabbi's with a tan? Orange Jews"

"Ever been to a Canadian mosh pit? ""Oh sorry eh! Oh! Sorry! Sorry, eh? Sorry? So sorry! Oh! Oh no.... Sorry, eh?"""

"Who was the last President of China? Yes he was."

"""Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car."""

"How do you make a Welsh person comfortable while playing Scrabble? Remove the vowels in his rack."

"My roommate is such a hypocrite when it comes to sharing. Apparently it's okay for him to finish my leftover pizza, but it's not okay for me to finish in his girlfriend."