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Joke of the Day

"The Viking God Thor comes to Earth... and spends all weekend shagging a woman with a harelip. On Monday morning he says to her ""I am Thor"". She replies ""you're thor, I can't even pith!"""

"So I took my car into the mechanic and he said I blew a seal. I said, ""well yeah, but how did you know? And what does that have to do with my car?"""

"If you love something, let it go. From the creators of ""If you're tired, go for a run,"" and ""If you're on fire, eat bees"""

"A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative."

"Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill."

"Company Invents First Truly Secure and Encrypted Smartphone They're calling it the FU NSA. (real news)"

"Those guys spinning giant arrows outside of stores are great at getting attention but they might need some pointers on how arrows work."

"The way your stick figures take up your whole back window tells me you need a bigger car and a class on condoms."

"A new version of clue is coming out this year It's called Flint River Clue. The only weapon is a lead pipe."

"[Batman at McDonald's] What's your chicken sandwich called? -A McChicken And the rib? -A McRib [pulls out his batwallet] I like your style."