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Joke of the Day
"Why do women wear make up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink."
Next Joke
"Paul Walker was a great guy Throwing a barbecue street side for free"
"Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly? They want to finish before it's cool."
"I'd get lost less frequently if GPS would say ""no, your other left."""
"I need a career involving less interaction and more pizza. I've narrowed it down to: Pizza Farmer Pizza Hunter Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle"
"i'm every guy who says he's taking a twitter break for mental health reasons and then returns 6 hours later"
"Kids asked if they could do something & I said yes so my wife lowered my security clearance & now I'm not authorized to make those decisions"
"A chemist and his friend walk into a bar... The chemist asks for some ""H2O."" His friend asks for some ""H2O too."" His friend dies."
"I own a gun so if a robber breaks into my home and steals my stuff I can shoot all my stuff and break it so the robber can't enjoy any of it"
"Name the pig's favorite Shakespeare play. Hamlet."