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Joke of the Day

"A man gets pulled over, the officer says to him ""How high are you?"" The man replies, ""No officer it's 'hi, how are you?'"""

"I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed... How could anyone stoop so low?"

"What do you call a reptile that's good with directions? A Navigator"

"There are two types of people on the planet... Those who can extrapolate information based upon the given context"

"it's easy as pie! 'what does that even mean?' *pie stumbles in drunk* pie: i just had sex with the homeless guy under the bridge 'oh'"

"Kylo: I need an N to finish my favorite Vader quote. Han: This is SpaghettiOs, not Alphabet Soup. Kylo: Great. Now Vader says, ""OOOOOOOO!"""

"I saw this ad in a window that said: ""TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full!"" I thought to myself, ""I can't turn that down!"""

"Why don't you take Pokemon to the bathroom with you? ... because they might Pikachu!"

"Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate nine."

"I got an email from a prince in Africa saying I inherited 100,000 dollars. But my computer just says i got a virus... I hope it's not Ebola"