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Joke of the Day

"[February 12] Henry VIII: jeez walmart is out of cards, flowers and chocolate. She's going to kill me! Unless... [February 13] beheads wife"

"Which computer is the best at singing? A Dell."

"How much equations does it take to finish a math test? Only Sum"

"My body is a temple, please leave pizza and tacos at the altar."

"Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth!"

"You can give a centaur a fish AND lead him to water, which is pretty awesome."

"If I had to describe myself in one word... ...it would be ""bad at following directions."""

"my favorite part about magazine interviews with actors are the 3 first paragraphs describing how they entered the hotel and sat down"

"Ever since I got married I have sex almost every day. I almost had sex on Monday. I almost had sex on Tuesday..."

"What's the most immature gaming console? Ninutendo 69"