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Joke of the Day
"What does Arizona name Colorado? Border Collie"
Next Joke
"What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man? A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)"
"[At maternity ward] Me: is this where babies are delivered Nurse: Yes Me: You ought to be ashamed. Babies need their livers"
"What do you call a small petition? Petite (Basin Tss)"
"""what's your most cherished memory keith?"" [looks at my wife and baby in crowd with loving smile] [leans into mic] i heard a dog laugh once"
"Promoting religious concepts is a sin"
"Miley Cyrus's fiance wants to break up with her. When asked why, he said that it's not twerking."
"To make small talk interesting, stare inquisitively at one spot on the person's face until they self-consciously touch it."
"What do you call an angry toilet? Pissed off"
"A 40 year old man goes to buy a car.... and all he can afford is a base model civic."