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Joke of the Day

"Shit happens You know what they say: shit happens. That's why every time something bad happens, I pray for constipation."

"The United Kingdom. A country whose name is now ironic."

"Two Apple Farmers, a baby, and an extremely agitated Sugar Glider walk into a bar... ... ... ... ... ... I don't remember how it ends but your mothers a whore."

"*wearing an apron and oven mitts* This is an old family recipe *I take a bag of M&Ms out of the freezer*"

"Jews rated their trip to Auschwitz: ##**They all gave it one star.**"

"Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff."

"How did the scottsman find the sheep in the tall grass? Very pleasurable."

"Sex so good you see dead people."

"I know of a guy who eats only thorns in meals... ...guess he's a prickly eater"

"What does a cannibalistic homosexual sailor eat? Semen."