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Joke of the Day

"Online dating has its good points. You can choose your own name, lie through your teeth and you can't smell their breath."

"Holy shit. I just realized this sales kid is treating me this way because he thinks I'm old"

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion He was outstanding in his field"

"Did you hear about the chickpea freedom fighters? They call themselves Hummas."

"LAZY EYE never date a girl with lazy eye. theyre always seeing someone on the side"

"A Man Walks Into A Bra... Dyslexia's a bitch, ain't it."

"*reaches for the stars* Stars: I have a boyfriend"

"Catch Pokemon? No thanks. I'm STD- Free."

"What do you call a cock-muncher's favorite meal..? Not me.. Stop calling me that."

"Why are crabs always so tired? It's because they only sleep in snatches."