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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? The boyscout comes home from camp"

"I'm trying this Paleo lifestyle where I live in constant fear and die at the age of 28"

"A sloth was robbed by 2 turtles Sloth robbed by 2 turtles. Cop asks if he could describe the assailants. Sloth replies, ""It all happened so fast."""

"Fat women are like hydrogen single and abundant"

"Senator Clinton what is your favorite flavor of pie Well the Republicans........... Edit: Secretary"

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day."

"""Make it two if you count my great personality - three if we include my charm! Hahahahaha oh um yes it's a table for one."""

"I'm sorry Mr. Simmons. I really enjoy babysitting little Timmy, but I'm only 14. I need real money, not bitcoin."

"So I just started my own indoor ship production company. Production was great, until sales started going through the roof."

"I like to bring ants on planes and say ""All the people down there look like you!"" They can't understand me, but they like the company."